“…all humor is physical.” ~ Chevy Chase

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

I’ve been a little down and out for a few days.  I’m not sure why but I know that long holiday weekends can do that to me, even Labor Day.  (Do other countries have a Labor Day equivalent?)  Often normal weekends make me sad.  I’ve said this before and meant it, but I have to remind myself from time to time:  I am responsible for getting myself out of the doldrums and being happy.

Reading in bed usually helps to put me to sleep, but last night I went looking for something funny to read.  I keep this little book of  “anguished English” on the bedside table in my guest room.  After reading some of it last night, maybe I should relocate it to my bedside.  I started reading and laughed so hard I had to get up and go to the john.  As Chevy Chase indicated in the quote above, it was literally physical exercise.  Whenever I read or hear something funny, I always want to share it with someone else.  D used to be my victim, but alas, he didn’t always laugh at my jokes.  He did, however, often laugh at me laughing, and that was just as gratifying.  I still miss his laughter.

You are my audience of choice today as I share some of Richard Lederer’s funny stuff.  Perhaps you’ll get a giggle or two or maybe even a belly laugh.

A newspaper headline:  STIFF OPPOSITION EXPECTED TO CASKETLESS FUNERAL PLAN  (I have a vision of all the poor stiffs having a sit-in with placards, chanting, “We Want Caskets.” to the tune of “We Want Candy!”)

Another newspaper headline:  LOCAL MAN HAS LONGEST HORNS IN TEXAS  (If you don’t live in the US, you may  not know that Texans think they have the biggest and best everything.  The way I see it, this dude is divorced and doesn’t have a girlfriend.)

An ad in a newspaper:  For sale–Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.  (My mental image is that of a shameless Alaskan Husky with lipstick on, shaking her booty, and for some reason I can’t get the words “hockey mom” out of my head.)

A mutilated metaphor:  The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance.  (My mental version is a bunch of skinny cows hanging on balconies and street signs in New Delhi.  Visions of Dali dance in my head.)

And last, a newspaper headline:  FLAMING TOILET SEAT CAUSES EVACUATION AT HIGH SCHOOL  (No comment.)

I hope you’re having a good day (or night) wherever you are.  Temperature here is low 70s and humidity is way down.  This is my kind of weather.  Thanks for reading.  I wish you lots of laughs.

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