“In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love you want the other person.” —Margaret Anderson
I was talking with a young friend this evening. We haven’t talked in a while so I was happy to hear from her. She is in her third month of bed rest as she awaits the arrival of her third child. I had told her earlier to check out my blog if she got too bored. She did. I stressed the young because I’m amazed at the wisdom she often displays when we discuss life topics. I was telling her that my ex is getting married. And that now when I see him I do a sort of mental double take and I wonder exactly what it was that I liked about him. She said, “Your D and the fiancée’s D are two entirely different people.” And that’s it exactly. If I were meeting him today for the first time, I doubt I would give him a second thought, or glance. And I have to admit that I truly believe I got the better D.
Based on the above quote I have graduated to a higher level or something like that. I have realized that I don’t want him any more. At least that’s how I’ve felt lately. And I’m trying and planning to keep that thought. I want him to be healthy and happy. I’m trying really hard to get honest with myself. I realize that I’ll probably have times when I curse both of them again because my progress is not a steady thing. It bounces around like a rubber ball, especially if I start to feel lonely. I have to remember that bad company is worse than no company. I must embrace my aloneness and not let it become loneliness.
And that’s what I’ll do. I mean it!
Hi Pat,
Our history is different but I can relate to your up and down emotions. Weird to say but I’m actually looking forward to my “alone” time should my marriage end in divorce. I admire your independence(!) and its a sign of healthy healing when you start wishing the ex-spouse well….continue that thread and all good things will come to you. 😉
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Thanks, PWL. I think life’s too short to hold hate and resentment of another person. I really appreciate your encouragement.
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