I don’t know why, but lately as I’ve mowed the lawn, I’ve had tears streaming down my face. Yesterday it started to rain while I was mowing. The irony made me grin. There I was mowing in the rain, smiling and crying at the same time. I could imagine my neighbor talking to me over the fence and not realizing I was crying because the tears would mix with the raindrops.
Maybe I was crying because the recent afternoon showers have made my weedy lawn grow at an alarming rate and I’m having to mow more often. Maybe the tears aren’t tears at all, but beads of perspiration. (It’s that hot and humid.) Maybe those bald spots in my yard where even weeds don’t grow are depressing me. Maybe I’m longing for the help of the lawn boy (teenager) who mowed for me last year, and lamenting the notion that I can’t afford him this year.
Or maybe the tears are not for me at all. Maybe they are tears of love and support for family and friends who need support right now. What better time to shed them than while my mind is free as I pace back and forth, trying physically to make order and neatness in my surroundings, at the same time trying mentally to make order for my friends and family who feel as if they are living in chaos where nothing makes sense.
This post and my tears and prayers are for P whose father died yesterday after a tragic accident. For my blogger friend U whose beloved daughter recently died unexpectedly. For A whose darling boy died, the result of a seizure, at age eighteen. For my cyber-friend J whose mother was recently diagnosed with cancer. For my friend C whose dear son is fighting demons that none of us can understand. For my precious daughter who is ill but not yet diagnosed.
God gave us unlimited tears because She knew these sorrows would sometimes come at us in bunches and we would need them.
This song kept nudging me as I mowed. It’s written by Carole King and sung by the Everly Brothers. Listen if you like.