Watching Reba reruns.

Reruns are wonderful because it usually indicates that they had something going for them to begin with and that’s why you’re still looking at them.      ~ Mary Tyler Moore

My ex and I used to watch Reba reruns together.  The show is set in Houston, Texas, and stars Reba McEntire as a wisecracking single mother whose dentist ex-husband Brock has left her to marry young, ditzy Barbra Jean after an affair with her.  (Source: Wikipedia)  In the early shows, Brock’s pet name for Barbra Jean is BJ.  Now isn’t that subtle and original?

I’m not a big fan of country music but I do think that Reba’s better than most.  I never watched her show when it originally aired.  I had heard it was funny but I didn’t know which channel it was on and never bothered to find out.  Later, when I started watching the reruns I was blown away by her sense of humor.  Well, that could have been her writers, but her comedic timing wasn’t.  When I started watching I remember thinking that maybe she had missed her calling and should have been doing comedy all along.  She’s that good.  She delivers her one-line zingers like a pro and to this day I laugh gleefully and unreservedly even though I already know what she’s going to say.  In fact, I probably find them even funnier today than I did back when I first heard them because they are usually directed at Barbra Jean–or should I say BJ?  She also aims a fair share of her clever insults at the narcissistic Brock who sometimes “gets it” and sometimes doesn’t.  He may be a blade, but he’s not the sharpest one in the drawer.

Okay, back to my original statement:  D and I used to watch Reba reruns together.  I looked for the show, found the channel, started laughing, and you know what they say about laughter.  It’s contagious.  And so D joined my “Reba fests.”  I think I speak for him when I say that he, too, found the show entertaining and funny.  Sometimes I wonder if it was this show that gave him the idea that divorce would be fun.  Reba and her cast made it look like fun.

After our separation and divorce I continued to watch Reba and still do to this day but I acknowledge that I see it from a slightly different perspective now than when I watched with D.  Sometimes I tear up for Reba, the character, because I know how she feels despite the fact that she makes jokes.  So often humor is born of hardship and sadness.  Right or wrong, that’s how I see her character now.

At the beginning of the end, when D was leaving, he told me he would like to remain friends.  I think that would be nice, too, but it would take a great deal of kindness and forgiveness and love and desire on the part of all parties.  Maybe one day.  Right now I don’t see D having the freedom he thought he would have, and he has to feel free to be my friend.  It seems a shame to allow thirty plus years of friendship to be flushed down the toilet.  Maybe.  One day.  We’ll talk again.


18 thoughts on “Watching Reba reruns.

  1. he wants it but I cannot do the friendship thing. It cuts me up. If anything i have learned for my life going forward it is only to do now what feels right for me … after years of thinking of what was right for him.


  2. Pat, I do find that loosing a good friend is part of the sadness that comes with separating from your spouse, and can imagine the depths of yours after 30+ years: The loss!
    I do hope that one day, you can talk again, and who knows watch more of those re-runs together.


    • That was an awesome show. I was married at the time with three daughters and I was cheering her on from the sidelines. I think that show made tremendous gains for women’s rights. And yes, the song was perfect. The hat toss, too.


  3. I saw an episode or two of Reba’s show a few years ago and I remember the humor. I also remember thinking that it was a wonderful display of the “evolution” (i love that word!) of a family… given the situation and the lack of outright animosity, I thought they set a good example.

    My ex-husband and I were friends from the get-go, even though he cheated and moved his OW in the day after I left. We maintained a healthy respect for each other and accepted the fact that our relationship had been over for a long time.

    I recently decided that I will not be friends with ex-BF. I’m almost disappointed in myself, given my perspective on all of *this*. And after the extreme closeness we shared, it makes me sad. However, I can’t reward his ongoing lack of respect for me with my attention or affection of any kind. I don’t like the person he’s currently choosing to be. He’s not a healthy presence in my life.


    • Hi Tara. I agree with you that the Reba family is a part of the evolution (It’s a good word.) of the modern family. I think it was Margaret Mead who said that the “one life, one love (spouse) paradigm was on the way out.” It’s a bit archaic, isn’t it. We live so much longer than we once did.

      I respect your decision to un-friend your ex-BF. Some behavior is simply not acceptable and you can choose not to participate in it. Good for you. I admire your intelligent way of taking care of yourself.


  4. Thanks, Kim. Good advice. I’ve always been comfortable with him when she’s not around. He’s a totally different person when he’s alone. I’m not sure what that says about his relationship with her but I guess it’s not my problem.


  5. I loved this post and you are so right, you do see things differently. Still to this day there are some pieces of music I can’t listen to without feeling the tears well – they just have such strong memories attached to them. Because I have Spencer I still have a fair bit of contact with his Dad but it still feels a little strange. It’s no longer uncomfortable to go to parents evenings with him or a school concert. We can sit and chat but I don’t know if it is possible to call it friendship. For us anyway it just seems a bridge too far. We have moved on and don’t have the same commonality and also, some of the past still hurts and although I think of myself as a forgiving person (Lord do I try!) there is a part of me that has been changed by the past.


    • Thanks, Jacqueline. I’m glad you can chat with him at Spencer’s school functions. That sets a good example for your son. Speaking of Spencer–I just finished reading “The Ballad of Tom Dooley” by Sharyn McCrumb. At the end of the novel there’s a section of author’s comments. In her comments, Ms McCrumb notes that her son Spencer helped her with some of the research. I thought that was cool since I had just been reading your blog about your Spencer’s birthday. It’s not a name you hear every day. That’s why I like it. 🙂


  6. I wasn’t a Country music fan until recently, thanks to my daughter who just loves it. But I was a fan of Reba’s show from the beginning. Then I couldn’t watch it for some time after my Discovery day, but I am stronger now and I can laugh at the jokes again. I love the jabs at Brock and Barbra Jean. My husband and I are nowhere near being able to sit together to watch it, and he now hates the show, but I still love it. Funny he loved it when he was in the affair and keeping it all a big secret from me.

    If I end up divorcing my husband, I doubt I could ever be his friend. I don’t have enough years left to live to be able to go through enough therapy for that. But if anyone can do it, it would be you, Pat.

    Love & prayers,


    • Hi Caroline. I’ve been thinking about you today. I know the aftershock of seeing him yesterday must be unsettling. I knew you would understand how I’m feeling about the lost friendship. It still hurts. I guess it always will.


    • Hi Angie. Thanks for your comment. I know that some divorces are friendly but it can’t be easy at first. D used to be very friendly with me whenever his ow wasn’t with him. Now he kinda acts like he’s scared of her. Oh, well. I can truthfully say that I’m glad I’m no longer married to him but I would like to chat once in a while when we’re both at a grandchild’s game, party, etc.


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