Who’s in charge here?

Take charge of your attitude.  Don’t let someone else choose it for you.

I don’t know who said that.  Probably a lot of people under many circumstances.  It’s simple enough.  And valid for almost any difficult situation one might be trying to maneuver at any given time.  I remember when I was teaching, the school system reassigned our principal and another one came to the school.  The one who left was decisive and in charge and had a vision for the direction we should be taking educationally.  I didn’t particularly like her until she left.  The new guy seemed lost and unsure of himself even though he had some years of experience as a principal.  I remember looking at my friend the French teacher and saying, “I don’t really care who’s in charge, but I certainly feel better when someone is.”  Poor fellow.  The ability to take charge eluded him.

in charge:  having control or custody of something                                                   control:  to have power over

I’ve come to realize these past few years that the notion of being in charge or in control of a situation is usually nothing more than an illusion.  The fact is that we have no control over what happens to us as we live our lives.  The only thing we can control, or take charge of, is our attitude toward life’s gifts, disappointments, and tragedies.  Despite the fact that I start every morning with an eye on my attitude, I still find myself later in the day, and especially in the evening, in desperate need of an attitude adjustment.  It would be nice if I could blame this stubborn attitude on someone or something, so I’m blaming genetics.  🙂  I wish it were that simple.  Bottom line is I have to take the responsibility for it regardless of its origin.

You may be wondering about my introductory picture above.  Those are dust bunnies.  I have been cleaning today in preparation for a long weekend out-of-town with “the girlfriends” and I couldn’t help noticing how seriously outnumbered I am by those little fluff balls.  The way I see it, the dust bunnies are in charge.  I’m sure they’ll hold down the fort  while I’m gone and will greet me with a wicked grin when I return.  (If I kill their leader, will the rest of them retreat?)


12 thoughts on “Who’s in charge here?

  1. Pingback: Ode to the Dust Bunnies | catterel

  2. Aww Pat, your post has had me deep in thoughts for a while… And I think I am grappling with the same issue you are. It is such an effort to take responsibility for our own attitudes sometimes, to not blame something or someone else, to not accept defeat or wait for something/someone else to happen…
    On a lighter note, my vaccuum cleaner has died so let me if the behead the leader dust bunny to scare off the others approach works out, I’m interested! 🙂


  3. Great post – my emotions have been up and down and round and round for more than a month. I have looked back at my comments, and I sometimes seem to be a different person on different days – and in my family that can be scary (Bipolar disorder anyone?). Your post explains it exactly … I’ve never thought I had control issues, but having all control ripped away certainly has left me disoriented, and whenever I think I have it back together….wrong! I’ve said it before, but I really needed this reminder – I am really going to try your advice and work on my response to what is thrown at me.

    On a separate note, over Christmas I kept my daughter’s pets, so with my own, i had two golden retrievers and four cats living in my very small house shedding like crazy for a month — I always have dust bunnies because I have inside pets, but recently it has seemed more like dust cats and I am definitely losing the war – cats have no leader, and when I remove a dust cat, I just find that it is too late – it has already had kittens.


  4. It’s hard to be responsible and be accepting at the same time, isn’t it? I try to remember that athough I’m in charge, I am not in control of life as it happens. Good, thought-provoking post.


    • Hi LS. Thanks for your comment and thanks for reading my blog. I’m at the NC coast with four “old” friends, having lots of fun, and therefore running behind with my reading, commenting, etc. I did read some of your blog, though, and am looking forward to going back to it when I get home.


  5. I believe you can take charge of your own life by living by your values and not inadvertently living by problems. By dealing with and sorting out one’s unconscious behaviours and making sure they give us the best possible outcomes is a great way forward!


    • Hi Caroline. I’m taking a little break from my wild and zany girlfriends to catch up a bit. I don’t disagree with you here. I’m not one to sit down in the muddle and let life happen to me. I make plans and goals and then execute them. But I still say that control is an illusion. Life has taught me that and I think I’m wiser for having learned it. 🙂


  6. Pat, you are way too young to be this wise :o) This is the wisest statement I have heard in a long, long time (The attitude part, not the dust bunnies.)


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