My holiday season so far…

Once again we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.   ~ Dave Barry

This holiday season gives new meaning to roller coaster, merry-go-round, and other rides that might come to mind.  I’m only about halfway through it and am starting to wonder if I’ll make it to the finish line.  What the hell is going on?!

Depression has revisited me with a vengeance.  I have a hard time understanding and dealing with it.  And I can never figure out if my various (but minor) physical woes are the result or the cause of the depression.  Today, for example, my body decided I should have a stomach upset accompanied by the usual symptoms that travel with the tummy bug.  Gross!  And I’ve been eating so well, so healthfully.  Enough of that, I’m sure you’ll agree.  I’ve certainly had enough of it.  Oh, but first–I must mention that I am already dealing with some kind of nasal and throat grunge.

I’m hoping (and trying) to learn something from my present difficulties.  I’ve shopped for fewer than half the gifts I want to buy.  My brain is screaming:  Simplify!  Simplify!  Simplify!  The question is:  Will I choose to listen once I start to feel better?  I am counting on feeling better one day. 🙂  I hope I will.  I’ve already roped and tied up the old decorating me and she’s not even struggling.  The tree is up, thanks to the children.  I made an executive decision not to display all the Santas and the silk holly and the music boxes, etc., as I have done in the past.  I’m trying to decide how much of it I’m willing to get rid of now rather than later.  I’m hoping my children and grandchildren will want some of it.  If not, do I still have (at my age!) the ovaries to sell it on eBay or at a consignment shop?

It is incredibly labor-intensive to unpack it, decorate, and then store it properly after the season ends.  Do I have any desire to do it another year?  I don’t think I do.  I don’t want to trash anything while I’m in a depressed state–or do I?  Maybe thinking about all the work is what caused the depression.

Meanwhile I keep posting silly greeting cards in the hope that you won’t give up on me or forget about me while I desperately seek to get my groove back.  If I were really optimistic, I would be hoping for mojo, but the realistic me will settle for the groove.

Thank you for reading.

The photo above is not another Christmas card, it’s my front door.

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6 thoughts on “My holiday season so far…

  1. Thanks, “Mother,” for you comments. I love your questions…is it dear to me? etc. Good questions all and I shall try to use them as I start my clean up and removal project.

    Hope you have a happy holiday. Once I’m out of this house an hanging out with family my mood will improve. I know that from experience.

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  2. I’m with you on the “stuff” of the season. I’ve found a wonderful and cleansing way to deal with a lot of my decorations…is it dear to me?…is it dear to the kids? (if not it probably is not dear to the grandkids)…is it worth enough to make a real difference in my life? Hmm…if not, it goes out in the “free” box near the curb. Someone has picked up every little ornament and candle that I have put out. I am free of it. Someone else is happy. Yeah!

    Hope your holiday becomes brighter.

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  3. Hi Pat, of course we’re sticking with you. I think this is a tough time of year and I also find myself having to raise my game to keep the blues at bay. In all fairness it’s a tough time of year to simplify but do you know once you get stuck into it there is something therapeutic about it. I hope you find your groove in the run up to this festive time and when Christmas comes I hope it brings the gift of your mojo with it. Stick with it 😉 and keep the lovely cards coming.

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    • Thank you, Jacqueline. I appreciate your sticking with me. I have a great silly card I’ll be posting shortly. 🙂

      It IS a tough time of year. As I said to Uta above, I do get credit for having done some things to make it simpler and I’ll continue to work on that angle. I’m going to a Fiesta Latina tomorrow night. I can’t be around Latinos and their music and not get happy, so I’m looking forward to that. And I know what you mean about “raising” my game. Now that I’m feeling better physically, I hope I’ll be able to do the same.

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  4. Hi Pat!
    Your front door looks great. I love it! You’re entitled to be proud of it. Go for ‘mojo’. I looked it up, it means magic power or magic spell. Why not try being optimistic and hope for mojo? Just don’t settle for ‘groove’. You don’t have to, you know. You’re your own decision maker. If you don’t want to hang onto all the ornaments, gives them away to someone who wants them, just anyone who appreciates their beauty.
    When I started reading your blog it sounded so much like I have felt recently as far as my health is concerned. I was lucky, I could shake off the bug within 24 hours. In the meantime something else has krept up on me, something that gives me some back pain. From experience I know that I can fight this too. It’ll just have to run its course.
    I know how you feel with unpacking everything and then have to all pack it back later on. If it becomes monotonous for you, do something different that cheers you up for Christmas.
    You say: Simplify! Simplify! This might be exactly the right thing for you. Buying presents maybe you can simplify a bit too. Make some time for yourself, pamper yourself a bit. It doesn’t have to cost all that much, as long as you have the feeling you’re giving yourself some time to really relax at some place where you don’t normally go. Yes, give yourself some quality time. I’m glad you shared all your emotions in this blog. It made me reflect on my emotions too. Thank you for taking the time for writing!
    Advent is the time when we should look hopefully to the future and be looking forward to spending some quality time with all our loved ones. So very best wishes for you and your family for a HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
    Love from Uta.

    P.S. I just looked at Dave Barry’s words again. He says to go to the mall of your choice! You probably chose these words for a reason.

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    • Uta, thank you for your thoughtful response to my misery. Sometimes we just need someone to listen. I can see that you’re a good listener.

      I guess it’s normal to have some aches and pains but I’m puzzled when I get several to deal with at one time. I wonder why that happens. I guess when the first one hits we become more vulnerable to others. I’m sorry you’re getting more than your share now. We will have to be each others cheerleaders, encouragers. I’m starting to feel better. Hope you are.

      I think you’re right about the mojo/groove thing. Groove sounds too much like a rut, doesn’t it? I’m going for the mojo.

      As to the Christmas season, I guess I should give myself credit for having simplified a great deal since my separation and divorce. Getting an artificial tree instead of a real one was a HUGE decision the first year I was in this house. And I’ve never been sorry for that decision. Getting rid of other things is harder even though I’m not using them now. You see, D bought me many special, collectors pieces and I haven’t had the heart to let them go. As I write this I see that what I’m saying here is pretty deep. I’ll think some more on this and eventually figure out what’s best.

      I didn’t mean to write a whole post. Just trying to think things through and you’ve helped me to do that. Thanks.

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