“There are no mistakes.” ~ Kubler-Ross

There are no mistakes.  Everything in life has a purpose.  All events are blessings for us to learn from. ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

When I lived in the mountains I knew a man named John who had the same attitude as Ms Kubler-Ross in the comment above.  No matter how bad the circumstance he found himself in he would always say, “I wonder what I’m supposed to learn from this.”  I never had any doubt that he really meant it.  I remember thinking about John’s positive attitude when my ex dropped his news and then moved out.  I wanted to feel that way; to learn something of value from this nightmarish experience.  At the beginning of the process I didn’t think there was anything valuable to learn.  It seemed like an enormous pipe dream full of elusive wisdom.  Nothing that would be within my grasp any time soon.

The rewards I was to reap did escape my grasp for a long time.  And I know now that I never could have imagined what lessons I was to learn.  I will probably repeat some that I’ve mentioned before but sometimes it’s good for me to remind myself what they are.  I have learned that I don’t need someone else to take care of me.  I can take care of myself.  If I could do it all again with the same spouse, I think I would be easier to get along with than before.  I like to think that D would be too, but I can’t speak for him.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t worry about insignificant “stuff” that happens on a day-to-day basis.  By taking care of all the daily minutia with no one to help, I recognize that it’s all just stuff that has to be dealt with one thing at a time.  When the insurance company recently gave me the check for repairs needed on my home I contracted the companies to do the work and even came in a little under budget.  I can do this.  I will never again expect another person to be responsible for my happiness and well-being.  No amount of money and no other human being can do that for me.

When I first embarked on this unwanted journey I could not have called this disruption a blessing.  But I can look at it now and see the gifts and grace I have received these past few years (almost five now) and be grateful for where I am and who I am today.  Perhaps this experience will help me through unanticipated difficulties in the future.  I am a grateful camper and life is good.


13 thoughts on ““There are no mistakes.” ~ Kubler-Ross

  1. I’m always pulling for you. I’m sorry your healing is taking longer than expected. I guess the up side is that now you can read and write and be all the more prepared when you do go back to work.



  2. Hi Pat,
    I am not sure if I have properly thanked you for your nice comments on feeling like I could be another granddaughter. It touched me, and makes me feel like there are other people out there wanting me to get better as much as I want to get better. I was supposed to go back to work in Sept, but the surgeon says I need another six months because my fusion isn’t solidifying as fast as he’d like. It was another blow, but I think I am okay. I guess I just have to accept it. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that your words mean a lot to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
    xoxoxo S.


  3. Hi S! It’s so good to hear from you. I miss you when you fade away and I’m glad you’re back. I hope you’re continuing to heal and that you’re a happy girl. I can call you “girl” since I have a granddaughter your age. 🙂 I hope you will post again soon because I’m always interested in what you have to say and how you’re feeling.

    Take good care!


  4. Hey.
    It has been too long, and it is my fault again. I think of you and read your words often, but never seem to put my fingers to the keys to tell you just how much your wisdom moves me. I whole heartedly wish that I too will be able to write a paragraph similar to the last one you wrote. For now you have solidified my lurking suspicions that caring about me and my well-being is not being selfish. No one, other than myself, is responsible for making me happy or whole. No one can smooth my recovery route other than me, by accepting and working within my limitations.
    You give me hope.
    Thanks for sharing!
    I hope this note finds you well and happy! I have missed hearing your wise and heartfelt words.
    xoxo S.


  5. Thank you, Shades. You brought a tear to my eye. The idea that I might have written something that was helpful on the day you lost your job is both amazing and gratifying to me. I’m sorry about your job. I’m constantly surprised, though, that these seemingly awful things that happen to us somehow work out for the best eventually. I used to have a dentist/friend who said, “There are no coincidences.” You’re right in saying that life is not random. I shall think about you and hope that you get the resolution you need as soon as you need it.


  6. I’m not quite sure how but I found your blog and this post in particular this morning exactly 2 minutes before my boss called me into his office to tell me I was losing my job. Because I knew this may happen I was asking myself “what is the lesson?” Life is not as random as we may think. Thank you for your inspirational words. I obviously needed to hear and read them athtat moment. “There are no mistakes. Everything in life has a purpose. All events are blessings for us to learn from…” Those words have stayed with me all day. Thank You for sharing your story.


  7. Pingback: I would like A Certificate Of Life Achievement! | I've Survived! And I'm about to "fly"!!

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