So you’re planning to get married. This is a big decision and I know you’ve given it much thought. Your children and how this second marriage will affect them is uppermost in your mind. You have a new teaching job, and you and the girls could eke out a living without D in your lives. You hope they will all get along but you don’t know that for sure. D is very easy-going and seems to want to get along with them. But how are the older daughters going to feel about a step-father who is significantly younger than their mom? Not so great, probably. You’ve recently learned that D isn’t exactly the person you thought he was. But it’s nothing big, a small deception that doesn’t change how you feel about him.
What is my advice to you? Since hindsight is supposedly twenty-twenty, I also know your heart. The love and caring and passion that you feel for D is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. I know that he got on his knee and put a diamond on your finger and asked you to marry him because he loved you, too, and he was willing to take on the challenge of a ready-made family. I also know that this marriage will not last forever as you hope it will. But listen up, young Pat, life doesn’t come with guarantees and the deep love that you feel for D may come along only once in a lifetime. For some, it never comes. My advice to you–go for it! You’ll have many opportunities to play it safe in the years to come, this is not one of those times.
I feel sad about the pain you and D and the girls (and yes, the grandchildren) will endure when the marriage falls apart. I know now, though, that you will all get through it and be stronger on the other side. As the years pass the sad times will start to fade and you will be able to cherish the memories of some fabulous vacations, camping across the US, wonderful parties, a beautiful wedding on the lake, D and S stealing crispy garlic fries from each other (that one always makes me laugh), D’s “How y’all doin’ ” when you went to Maine–so many good times that you will always have. Remember, no one can take those away.
Oh, and one more thing–I hope the photo above doesn’t offend you. I couldn’t resist it because it is a perfect depiction of how you felt about your groom at the time of the wedding and for a long time thereafter.
Don’t forget: Life is good.