I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind You could have done better but I don’t mind You just kinda wasted my precious time But don’t think twice, it’s all right ~ Bob Dylan
Happy Birthday, Bob Dylan! (Bob’s 70 today.)
Sometimes this is how I feel about the last few years with my ex. A little more honesty would have gone a long way. Maybe it would have freed me up a few years earlier. My dreams of growing old with D could have changed to other dreams. I don’t let myself think this way very often, though, because I don’t think it’s helpful.
I’ve always tried to believe that I was where I was supposed to be at that time. I learned things I wouldn’t have learned anywhere else or at any other time. I met people and was touched by them and they by me in ways that were meant to be. Some of the most important people in my life today I met during those years. So how can I look back with regret. I mean where would I be without S and R and their family. I got so much unconditional love from them and they literally prayed me through the divorce. I read somewhere that “a friend is someone who is there for you when she’d rather be anywhere else.” That makes me think about the first Father’s Day that D was gone and he caused quite a stir when he took his OW with him to his mom and dad’s house. Remember he had left me only two months earlier. S came up and stayed with me for hours. I’m sure she would have preferred to be home with R and their three daughters. She taught me a great deal about love that day. Her ability to give to others is rare and I’m glad I was in that place at that time and the recipient of such love and kindness.
I shall continue to look for the good that came out of hard times. In the meantime, it’s all right.
Thanks, Caroline. What I should have said was, “My dreams of growing old with D could have changed to other dreams much earlier.” (As in, when I was a bit younger) I don’t mean to sound like I’m going backward again. I’m not. I’m still forging ahead and enjoying it more every day.
You write: Maybe it would have freed me up a few years earlier. My dreams of growing old with D could have changed to other dreams.
They still can! You can still do whatever you want to do and be whoever you want to be!
Go for it! Plan that new dream future. It’s yours for the grabbing.! (oops!! I may be ‘suffering’ from too many life coaching sessions!!)