“Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.” ~ myfavoneliners.pen.io
I love one-liners and insults. Understand, I don’t want them used to describe me unless I make such a huge screw up that nothing else will do. Then, hopefully, I’ll laugh at myself. Sometimes I think in insults just to entertain myself. For example, last evening someone rang my doorbell. I wasn’t expecting anyone so I looked through the peep-hole and saw that it was someone hoping to sell me something (illegal in my neighborhood). I snickered to myself and said, Lights are on but nobody’s home. Go away!
And do you ever have a conversation with someone but you know he/she is not understanding a word you’re saying? And it’s so simple that an idiot could get it. When that happens to me I go away thinking, Well, I do believe she’s just one blade shy of a sharp edge. Or He’s playing hockey with a warped puck. Or The elevator doesn’t quite make it to the top floor, does it?
There’s another type of idiot that drives me up the wall every time I see the news these days. The so-called “birthers” who don’t believe that Barack Obama is a citizen of the United States. Now…when I watch crazies on TV I talk to them. I know, that might make some people call me a crazy. But understand that I now live alone and I’m a very social sort so I’ve gotta talk to somebody. I find myself looking at those GOP nut cases and saying, You do know, don’t you, that Hawaii is a state in this country? I’m not watching news as much as I did but whenever I see that brand of nut case I think, It’s too bad there’s no vaccine for stupidity.
One more. I cannot stand to listen to a speaker who slaughters the language grammatically. So far I’ve been controlled enough not to walk out even though I’ve sometimes wanted to. And I’ve resisted the urge to stand up and say Excuse me. Who gave you permission to speak?
By now I’ve probably convinced you that I am an intolerant bitch. I’m really not. I promise. I’m just having a little fun. Sometimes I have to entertain myself. That’s all.
Haha, sometimes I find I am the only person who will really listen! I think people who don’t talk to themselves are crazy. I am convinced we all do it and only the people afraid of themselves won’t admit to it… Maybe? 🙂
You may be right. I laugh when I think of talking to myself because we used to tease my dad for doing it. He would grin and say, “Well, I like intelligent answers to my questions.”
I love your comments. The only time I managed a reasonable one-liner was when someone at work – who was known for being particularly unpleasant – said to me “What’s it like to be the most hated person in this Company?”
“I don’t know” I replied – “What is it like?”
As this was in the Canteen queue the result was not what this young lady had hoped!!
Anyway keep chatting to yourself. I do – all the time!
Now that was a perfect response. She obviously deserved that. I doubt I would have thought of it fast enough to have the desired effect.
Thanks for reading.
And you entertain me too. Some people just need a good one-liner, I totally agree (tries to think of a good one to insert here but fails miserably)! And that talking to the tv etc?- I’ve progressed from talking to people who aren’t there to just going around chuckling to myself (one sandwich short of a picnic myself) 🙂
Thanks, Penny. I’m laughing at your self-evaluation. That’s a good one. I’m going to add that to my list.