“One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.” ~ Margaret Mead
I’ve been thinking lately about divorce and its effect on our basic human needs. Now that I’ve refreshed my understanding of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I’m not sure this was a good idea. I may get angry all over again. The effects are devastating, disastrous. No wonder I was such a basket case for so long. And no wonder those of you who are struggling along behind me by a year or two or three are still feeling like fish out of water. All areas on the pyramid are disrupted.
When I was reduced to struggling once again for simple physiological needs, I could function only partially at all the other levels. I didn’t feel safe, I couldn’t think straight enough to solve problems, I didn’t feel loved, my self-esteem was in the basement. I wasn’t living well, I was existing in survival mode.
I have only recently started to feel some level of self-actualization again. Take a look at this chart, if you haven’t in a while, and tell me what you think. Did your divorce have similar effects on your life? If the print is too small, just click on the image and enlarge it. (I’m sure you know that. I’m the one who’s techno-challenged.)
Hello there – I’ve read a few of your posts and have enjoyed them very much. I too divorced after 20 or so years and all I can say is that as it was really me that was doing the leaving my experience was different. But, and it’s a big but for me, the relationship I went on to have ended over a year ago and I have found myself completely devastated by the loss. It is inspiring to hear you have since found some sense of self- actualisation again. It must be true that it will get better – so many say so- but I am still at the stage where I cannot even glimpse it on the horizon. Looking forward to reading more of your posts 🙂
Thank you for reading and for your comments.
I had an old gentleman about three years ago tell me that some things only time would heal. I was feeling so old at the time that I wanted to scream at him. I have discovered since that he was right. Hang on–it WILL get better.