Alone but not lonely.

The tulip stands alone.

“What a lovely surprise to discover how un-lonely being alone can be.” ~ Ellen Burstyn

Each spring this lovely red tulip shows her face.  She stands proudly alone.  Usually I am awestruck by the beauty of great masses of tulips.  But  there is something noble and rare and delightful about this one standing there alone in all her glory.  It’s  as if she’s defying tradition and daring to be her best self by herself.  I’m taking her lesson to heart.

I’m thinking, and hoping, that my best self is yet to come.  How can that be?  I don’t know exactly but I have this powerfully optimistic sense that it is so.  I am no longer a part of a couple.  I’m not even a part of a cohesive family unit any longer.  I live alone.

When I started this “alone” journey I was lost and sad and so very lonely.  I told an acquaintance (also divorced) last night that I went from one protector to another to another in my adulthood.  It has taken some time to shake the notion that I need someone to look after me.  But I realize now that I don’t.

This past weekend we had severe thunder and lightning storms with heavy rain and hail.  And wind!  Well, I walked outside a while ago when I was taking a break.  I checked on my lone tulip.  She was wiped out.  Beaten into the ground.  Pieces of her scattered.  (Sound familiar, reluctant divorcees?)  I looked at her rather sadly for a moment and said, “Don’t worry, Tulip.  You’ll come right back, strong as ever, next April.  If I can do it, you can do it.

I must remember to ask my daughter how I should give Tulip extra care and love over the next year.

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