“We made too many wrong mistakes.” ~ Yogi Berra

Garden gazing ball.

No matter where or how I place this ball; no matter where or how I place myself, I always see me looking back at me.  That seems significant today more than usual.

To those who have been reading my blog for a while, you are well aware that I have been all too willing to blame my ex for what he did to me and to our families.  He certainly has his share to bear.  I don’t want you to think, though, that I blame all of it on him.  I think I am past the hand-wringing dither I was in at the beginning.  That’s when I stayed awake nights asking what I did wrong and what I didn’t do right.

I’m talking now about the failure of both of us to nurture our relationship.  To cherish the good times and the things we liked (even loved) about each other.  To ignore more of the irritations.  But most of all to talk about the good and the bad.  It would have reinforced the positives and mitigated the negatives.  I can’t put a finger on when we stopped talking and sharing.  We would talk non-stop for hours when we first met.  That’s one of the things I so loved about D.  Somewhere through the years we made too many wrong mistakes. And I regret it.

I read recently that every story has a moral.  The moral to this one?  Communicate!!!

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7 thoughts on ““We made too many wrong mistakes.” ~ Yogi Berra

  1. Pingback: The Biggest Link Love Post– Evah! « Indigo Moods

  2. Yes, communication is key to a good marriage. But the truth is you probably didn’t make any more wrong mistakes than your friend who’s still married; probably not as many. It is entirely up to the individual how they react to whatever is wrong or lacking in a marriage and you are not the one who decided to take your affections elsewhere. When a man decides that he wants illegitimate sex, how can a legal wife provide that? No matter what mistakes you might have made, you have no guilt whatsoever in D’s infidelity. None. It’s his choice, period.

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  3. Communication I agree is what it’s all about. And I know some of you have read what my Life/Relationship Coach posts on his blog. He puts it so much better than I am able to. It’s also about understanding what the other person needs.

    And giving and making sure if each of you gives to the other and meets their needs then both of you will be happy.

    So I would add to communication: Give and understand

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  4. I was just talking to someone recently exactly about this point: communication! He asked me if he thinks in a relationship you should tell everything to your partner, and my reaction without thinking twice was YES!

    What if there’s something that’s hard to tell, he asked me? What if I’m married and I’m fantasizing about another woman, a colleague? he asked. It would be hurtful to tell, wouldn’t it?!
    My answer to this was that if he’s fantasizing about someone else other than his wife, (unless its Angelina Jolie) it may be a sign that something is not quite as it used to be…and then there definitely should be talks about why.

    I agree sometimes there are things that are harder to be open about. But I strongly believe that if you bottle it all up for too long, it eventually explodes out. And when it explodes its often too late.

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    • Thanks, Bye2, for your observations. I think communication is everything. I used to say to D, “If we have no communication, we have no relationship.” Maybe that’s why he stopped talking. He no longer wanted the relationship. I guess I’ll never know.

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