When pigs fly I will…
Get married again: I’ve tried this twice. Apparently I’m not very good at it. No more husbands.
Get a tattoo: Okay, I admit I’m fascinated by the notion. A small rose on my left boob. Up top. Oops. Where did the top go? Or maybe a flying pig on my shoulder. How about a tree of life on my back between my shoulders? See how fast I went from a small rose to an entire tree. I’ve heard tattooing can become an addiction. Now that’s all I need. Nope. No tattoos.
Vote republican: I tried that a couple of times in my youth under the influence of my first husband. It didn’t work out for me. Or for the country. You see, one of them was Nixon. I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that before. It fills me with angst just to type it here.
Buy eyeglasses from the doctor’s office optician: She’s a lovely woman and I like her a lot. But–I discovered I could buy them for much less at the big discount stores like Sam’s Club, BJ’s and Costco. So off I went to BJ’s with my prescription. I got Armani frames with all the bells and whistles for $247!!! I love them and they got the adjustments right the first time. And that’s about a third of what I paid for my last ones at the doctor’s office.
Take another teaching job: I have enjoyed my ESL students this year but I find that I really dislike being tied to a schedule. I will be seeking another way to assist in the local Latino community. I understand there are many ways to help. And I like spending time with them.
Cook three meals a day: This is a practical matter. I don’t need to cook that much for me. I can barely put a sandwich together these days. One does get out of practice, you know. I can see me now. The main course would be getting cold while I put the sides together. Too much concentration for me. Can’t believe how many years I did it. And I was quite efficient, thank you.
Worry about what others think of me: I remember being a youth and thinking I said the wrong thing, wore the wrong sweater, etc., etc. I no longer care what people think about me. There are probably several things that bring me to this point. One is that I’m older and much of what I worried about was “fluff.” As in don’t sweat the small stuff. Another is that I think I became embarrass-proof after teaching teenagers for a number of years. I got immune to the teenage “gotchas.” They are so good at it and I love their enthusiasm and youthful exuberance.
I try to keep my posts below 500 words so perhaps I will continue this rant another time. If you’ve read this far, thank you.
Lol on the three meals! I love to have a nice bowl of cereal for dinner, followed by a glass of wine and some chocolate! I think “3 square meals” was invented by a man. Glad to hear you are not a cook slave anymore!
Definitely invented by a man. One of the ways we prove we love them.
The tattoo I personally think is best left in the imagination!! Safer and far less painful!
As to the cooking problems. What is it about cooking? I used to do fantastic dinner parties. I can barely cook a one course meal these days! The other evening I even managed to burn a bacon and tomato fry up!! Clearly what we are going through has untold effects – one of which is being a cook!!
Keep writing. I love your blog. And it’s great we are now doing the health challenge. Even if doing squats seems a little worrying today!!!!
lol. I agree about the tattoo. That one was strictly tongue in cheek.
The cooking is another thing. I think I was cooking all along for D. He’s diabetic and it’s important for him to eat well. I must admit there’s a certain freedom in not having to do it. Cooking for one is not fun for me but it would be much more healthful.
I guess the squats are good for me, too. I’m actually starting to think I should do a few every day. You keep writing, too. Good therapy and I love reading it. I find myself trying to think how you would sound saying what you write. As an old foreign language teacher, I’m fascinated with accents. Mine’s southern but not a Scarlett O’Hara drawl. I wonder if we would understand each other.
Mine is far too English!! You’d probably laugh!!
I would love it!
You should have gotten the rose when you were twenty. Then it could have morphed into a more expensive long-stemmed rose.
LOL. That would work for women with big ones. Fortunately, I’m not one of those.
I really enjoy reading your blog. Stumbled on it and return again and again. Our situations are different, but it is your reflections and observations that I enjoy reading about. You are navigating change in your life and I find it honest and inspiring. I was motivated to comment because being married for 30 years is evidence that you were “good at marriage”. You would still be married if your husband didn’t choose the path he did. I would venture to say that he “made a mess of things” and I believe that you are in a much better circumstance at the present, than he is. I am 51 and if anything happened to my husband, I would not want to get married again. I see your point with that; “been there done that”. Ha! I think it’s the day to day companionship that is missed.
Again, as a woman who is dealing with the “empty nest” and lots of life changes, I find your blog to be very honest and comforting. You have a gift for writing. Who you are as a person comes through loud and clear.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you very much for your kind comments, MK. One of my goals from the beginning of my writing was to comfort other women. It makes me happy if my writing make your life changes just a little easier. The empty nest is both terrifying and exciting, isn’t it? Thank you for reading my blog. I will think of you as you navigate through your changes. I would love to hear how you’re doing from time to time.