This is my grandson’s hand print when he was four. He’s nine now and he loves to put his hand on this print to show me how much he’s grown. I wish it were that easy to measure my growth.
To grow: to increase in size or substance; to become by degrees; to become mature or experienced; to attain mental or physical maturity; to come into existence; to arise.
Obviously I like the last definition best. It’s what I want to do. I also like the fact that this is a verb, an action word. I’m a little tired of adjectives. It’s time for verbs! There comes
a time when I have to stop describing myself, my situation, the “bad guys” and begin to act in a way that will help me to rise above all the garbage and detritus of my broken marriage.
What, exactly, am I doing? What action am I taking?
Well, this weekend will be my first party, other than family dinners, since D left. And, yes, it’s my birthday. I don’t intend this to be a birthday party, just a party on my birthday. Sometimes you simply have to take the “birthday bull” by the horns. That’s what I’m trying to do. Here in the South, people always ask what they can bring. I’m telling them nothing, absolutely nothing. I’m preparing the food myself. That should keep me busy all day Saturday. And that’s a good thing.
I have organized my sewing/project room. I have some of my favorite fabrics at the ready so I can start a new project once I’ve finished cleaning up after the party.
I have volunteered for another project at church because I think it’s very important. We are going to make “pillow case dresses” for girls in Haiti. I haven’t yet seen the written bulletin on this project, but as I understand it, young girls are being raped in large numbers there. I hope I get this right. If a girl is wearing a dress, it indicates that she belongs to a family and she’s much less likely to be violated. Numerous dresses are needed. Now that I can do with energy and enthusiasm. But what a sad statement that it needs to be done.
I don’t know where else this Phoenix flight will take me but I shall continue to examine and figure it out.