Most people in an unwanted breakup of a relationship dislike the term move on. It’s a cliché. It makes what you’re in the middle of seem trite or easy. But it isn’t easy. It’s your life and it’s taken a turn that you didn’t want and you had no say in it. If someone tells you it’s time you move on, it feels as if they trivialize your pain.
I know that moving on is essential to my well-being. In fact, I have moved on. I haven’t always met my own expectations but I look at where I am now and where I was months ago and I see a huge improvement. Sometimes, though, things crop up and cause setbacks. I have to remind myself constantly that there are peaks and there are valleys. The peaks are easy enough. When I hit a valley I remind myself that it’s temporary. This too shall pass.
A friend called me this afternoon to say that my last posts had sounded a bit sad. How sweet it is to have friends who are observant enough to notice and then take the time to call. I explained to her that my current “low” is probably the result of knowing that our mountain home is on the auction block this week. D refinanced the house when we separated in order to buy me out. His new payments were exorbitant. He held on as long as he could. Despite his efforts, he couldn’t keep the payments up-to-date. The bank foreclosed. They will sell it on the courthouse steps. How sad is that?
So…even though I no longer have a financial interest in the house and property, still I will mourn the loss. One more thing over which I have no control. Thus, I must let it go and move on.