Too much pain, too little gain?

One of my favorite Santas.

…”Trouble, oh trouble, trouble on my mind.  But the trouble in the world, Lord, is much more bigger than mine.  Hey, hey, so I guess I’m doin’ fine.” ~Bob Dylan

I have spent a great deal of time this holiday season trying to convince myself that my troubles, in the grand scheme, are minor.  And I truly believe it.  But I guess getting it from my head to my heart isn’t so simple this time of year.  I have sat down to write a number of times in the past week but I didn’t want to sound pathetic or whiny or complaining.  So I would trash each little essay and try again the next day. 

I don’t make resolutions at the beginning of each year.  I don’t know whether that’s a good or a bad thing.  I guess I don’t want to set myself up for failure.  It certainly isn’t that I think I’m so great I don’t need improvement.  But this week I was reading another divorce blog that I’ve been following for a while.  Another woman whose husband abruptly dumped her.  She had a short list of wishes for the new year and a couple of them struck a chord with me.  She said she would like to be happily divorced and that she would like to get over her husband without needing someone else.

Well, hallelujah and amen, that’s exactly what I want.  I think I’m much closer to both than I’ve ever been before.  At least I was before Christmas week arrived.  I think I will soon get back to where I was a few weeks ago.  But I may have to rethink Christmas for next year.  Should I plan on working at the soup kitchen or take a trip or what?  Family has always been and will always be the most important thing in my world.  Yet I’m still not far enough along in my acceptance of “what is”  to be comfortable dealing with sharing and avoiding and looking out for everybody’s feelings, etc.  Something has to change before next year.  If anyone reading this has a suggestion, I would love to hear it.

I love trees.

Have a prosperous and happy 2011!!!  Pamper yourself.  Get lots of sleep and drink plenty of water.  Eat healthfully.  Exercise.  Smile even when you don’t feel like it.  I think I probably wrote all this advice for me. I know.  I said I don’t make resolutions.  But I guess I just did.  Wish me luck.  And good luck to you.


4 thoughts on “Too much pain, too little gain?

  1. Pat,

    Haven’t read your blog for a week or so since I’ve migrated from one computer to another and didn’t have the blogsite set up. I’m thinking about your question. Your situation is unique since family means D is there with his other. You can’t escape. At the same time, Christmas should be for you and yours. Should you really do a trip and avoid the situation which also means avoiding your family? I don’t think so, but then how do you handle the situation? You’ve given me pause to ponder and an interesting delimma to think about. Good thing we’ve got a year to think about it. Let’s discuss the next time we’re together.


    • Thanks, Tish. I’m thinking that maybe it will resolve itself in the next year. That’s a long time and many things can change. A couple of months ago they were getting married today, Dec. 31. Now they’re not. Who knows what next December will be. Maybe D will have a new woman by then. HeeHee.


  2. Thanks for quoting me. I guess More people share my thoughts.
    As for my advice there’s only one thing one very smart man once said:
    “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”. Nelson Mandela


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