The pros and cons of being queen.

Whimsical queen of the house?

A few years ago I never would have imagined buying a car by myself, let alone a house.  But I’ve now done both.  And I’m very happy with my purchases.  I have no idea what cars need or when they need it.  So when I bought my new Honda I bought the service package, too.  I realize some people think those packages are over-priced and unnecessary but I know myself well enough to know that I need it.  And it’s been great!  They call me and tell me when it’s about time for me to come for service.  And then they show me a list of all the things they did and I pay nothing because I’ve already paid.  It’s a no-brainer for me since I don’t really want to know too much about cars.

My house is another matter.  I didn’t choose to be “queen” of the house but here I am.  Since D traveled a great deal when we were married, I was the one who took care of the maintenance of the house.  He took care of the lawn and grounds except for flower beds and vegetable garden.  I did the gardens.  When I say I took care of the maintenance, I mean, if I could fix it, I did.  If not, I called someone.  I learned to do a lot of things.  I can caulk, paint, wallpaper, fix minor plumbing problems, etc.  I like to decorate so doing those things seems like a part of decorating.

Here’s the hard part.  I am not physically strong enough to do certain jobs.  And I don’t have unlimited funds for hiring help.  And if I have a major issue with the house I have no one to help me make decisions.  For example, this has been a peculiarly hot summer.  My air conditioner hardly ever stops running.  It’s ten years old.  Since I’ve lived here I’ve had a repairman out twice to work on it. Is it going to go?  If it does, do I replace it or do I try to get it rebuilt?  A decision I’ll have to make by myself.  Ugh.

Even minor problems seem major some times.  A wind storm recently broke a branch in one of my backyard trees.  If D were here, he would take care of it in 5 minutes with his chain saw.  I don’t have a chain saw.  Nor do I want one.  Sounds like a recipe for disaster.  Maybe when it dries out this fall, the branch will weigh less and I will be able to pull it down.

I bought myself a cordless electric lawn mower and a weed eater so I’m taking care of the lawn and a small garden.  I have to admit that lawns are hard work but I think of it as really good exercise.  On the days I mow, I don’t have to go for a walk.  When I started mowing a couple of years ago, though, I sent D an e-mail telling him how sincerely I appreciated his mowing our lawns all those years.  It occurred to me that I had never realized what hard work it is.  I hadn’t properly appreciated him for doing it.  I hope he didn’t think I was being a smarta$$ because I wasn’t .

I guess what I’m saying is that if I’m going to be queen, I have to be queen over all of it–the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult.  And I have enough faith to know that it will all work out and I’ll be okay.  In fact, I am okay.


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